It's Me Again, Lord - Star Purswell

It's Me Again, Lord
Star Purswell

Lord, it's me again with the same old problem. I'm so glad your ear doesn't get tired of listening, like humans do. You know I don't even want to write this, but my dear sisters Donna and Cindy tell me that perhaps you can use this for some other battle weary servant, so here it is.

Lord, I'm just weary, and if you don't help my son, no one will. You know that I committed him toYou the second I knew I had conceived, and dedicated him to You while he was a minuscule speck in my womb. How much longer, Lord? I'm just so tired and I know that I am totally inadequate without You. Where did I go awry ? I can think of so many things that I must have done things wrong--like running around ministering to everyone else and neglecting my very own children. I feel so hurt and so powerless without You. Since he was a teenager, there were so many times that I fell in my bed with an overwhelmed heart. But, like King David I said, "When my heart is overwhelmed, please lead me to the Rock that is higher than I", You are that Rock, that comforts me.

Lord, there are so many other sons and daughters that have seemingly become powerless victims tormented by the bondage that tries to strangle them. It appears that their loss of dignity and the devastation they've brought to the lives of countless others can't be reconciled. You know that these children really desire to serve you, but the enemy has a foot on their throat trying to snuff out their very life. You said, "Great shall be the peace of thy children", yet they have no peace. Remember when they were teenagers,...they and their friends were always right in the middle of something they weren't supposed to be doing? Remember when I told You that if it were possible I would even go to hell and rescue them if I could? Well, I realize that I can't, but I know You already have! This is not the abundant life that my child is living, and You're not a man that You should lie!

How many nights have I cried myself to sleep, or just collapsed, exhausted and in despair. You word promises that if I trained up my child in the way he should go, when he grows old he won't depart from these teachings. Surely this is true, but my heart is faint. I feel impotent! I've done all that I can do, so therefore; my hope is in You and You alone! Whom in Heaven do I desire but You, and who on earth do I have that is like untoYou? It is my highest desire to live for You all of the days of my life, and I refuse to let the enemy drain my life of all strength, courage, and joy!

I remember my son, when still a tiny child….he would come and tell me the dreams that only You could have given him. He is so unhappy, and I want him to be free, Lord. There are so many other sons and daughters like him. Draw our children to you Lord. Bring about repentance and justification into their lives. Anoint them and those whose lives they've touched with the oil of gladness ---I cannot help him, but you're the God of Elijah, that sends fire down from Heaven, and nothing is too difficult for You!

Lord, I know that You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that I ask or even think, so I choose to once again, lay down my Isaac, and allow You to work Your perfect Work in his life and mine.

It seems like yesterday when he was a small child. He would sometimes meet me when I came in from ministering to a poor wretched soul who was drunken or strung out on drugs. Never did I dream that someday my own child would be in the same position. Father, You know that no one cares for them You and You alone are the answer. You are the Rock Of Ages, Lord.

How I cried for my precious Selma, as I watched her struggle through the years, heartbroken over her son. Somehow I knew that You had placed her in my life as a mentor, and that I was to one day face the same sorrow. I have watched her, and never has she been bitter toward you, but instead only praised you! She knows that You will turn things for the good, and she'll never give up. If I were asked to give her another name, I would call her Mrs. Valiant! Surely her hope lies in you, as she cries, "Blessed is the man whose hope the Lord is". She will live to see her son set free.

In years past, Lloyd and I ministered at prison in Texas and Oklahoma. many times I cried out to You as I looked out at the large group of prisoners saying, "Lord, please hold this to my account, for my son's sake". How heartbreaking it is to see these young men locked behind bars, and I wonder just what could have gone wrong for them. It is hopeless for such unless You set them free. I remember falling beside my bed on my knees, crying uncontrollably to you in despair, over things in my life, and how You told me, that there were no bars of iron, nor no cement blocks that could ever hold me, only the prison of my mind! Lord, there are many prisons, as it were. I understand this, but I am asking you Father, in the name of Jesus, anoint, equip, and send those who by Your Spirit are able to deliver such suffering souls.

Forgive us Your ministers, when we are told of another person's despair, for not reacting in mercy and loving kindness! You said that no man cares after the state of another man, save by Your Spirit. Forgive us for secretly wondering what a person has done wrong to have such wayward children. There are so many bleeding souls waiting for someone to care. Give us compassion and fill us with Your love to overflowing!

Thanks, again, for listening to me, Lord. My hope is in You and none other. I will praise your name. No matter what may come, I will bless You at all times. Your praise will be continually be in my mouth. You are the Lord, and beside You there is no other! If You are for me, then who can be against me? I will lift my eyes unto the mountains, whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and earth. My keeper will never slumber! Thank You, for protecting my son, and revealing Yourself to Him. Thank You, for all of the Children of the servants of the Lord. Bless them, and deliver them, Lord. You said that You sent Your word and healed them, and delivered them out of all of their destruction! SO I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THE REPORT OF THE LORD.

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