Wrestling With God


I am a 63 year old minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am the son of a Baptist minister and I completely missed what should be as plain as the nose on your face until I was 53 years old.

I was saved because of a near death experience. I literally had the HELL scared out of me. If at any time during my life you had asked me what I feared I would have said, "Death." God revealed to me, on a stretcher with nurses and doctors running down the hall with me, that I had never feared death, that in fact what I had feared was an eternity in hell.

I believe that the Bible is the infallable, inspired Word of God. I believe every tittle an dot of God's holy Word. I believe in salvation throught the shed Blood of Jesus Chirst. I believe in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I believe that the triune godhead always was, is and always will be.

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life, no MAN comes to the Father except through me."

I am 6'3" and I weigh about 250 lbs. I say this because I was big enough in size and determined enough in my mind to not let anyone or anything to stand in my way from being a success in this world. I was raised on a small farm in East Texas. As East Texas people say, "We were dirt poor." I was determined as an adult to have all the things I didn't have as a child.

In the eyes of the world I was a successful man. Even thought I was financilly successful I never had peace of any sense of security. There is no peace or security in any thing this world has to offer. And to the world I looked as a man who had it all together. I was a manager of a very large and successful corporation. I got there because of my tenacity and my unwillingness to give up EVER.

I was baptized and joined the church at an early age. Notice that I did not say that I was saved. As a teenager I was roughty and unruly. I did alot of drinking and alot of fighting in spite of my dad's faith. I was married at 21 and because of my teaching decided to straighten my life up and live for God. With the misguided belief that I had been saved.

Folks, I can tell you that without a true salvation experience it is impossible to live a life for God. My tenacity and determination to not give up is what kept me away from God so many years, because I did the best I could do to live a Christian life and failed miserably. Because it is not in our power but God's power. "Not by might, not by power but by my Spirit saith the Lord."

I say this as the only explanation to all the wasted years. Becasue after failing so miserably, "Why should I try to be something that I so obviously to me could not be?" I refused to hear any talk about God. I didn't want to know anything about God. I didn't want to be around anybody that talked about God. And had very little respect for anyone except myself.

I can tell you with all honesty and truthfulness and from the very depths of my being that I was successful and as miserable as a human being can be.

I believe with all my heart that there is no peace and no security outside the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I am committed to living my life, what is left of it, for God. To be used of God in any way He sees fit. I pray that something on these pages or in my testimony will make a profound difference in someone's life.

I ask you please, "Don't be blind to who and what God is and waste the best part of your life as I did. Because there is no life outside of salvation."

A word to you older guys. If you feel a call on your life from God, don't ask why or how. Don't look at your abilities, and don't think anything about what the world is going to say. God is not looking for ability but for availability. If God has a call on your life. Don't look at yourself. Look to God. Surrender to the call and allow yourself to be used of God for the furtherment of the kingdom of Jesus Christ and to God's honor and glory.

All praises to Him. The King of kings and the Lord of lords. The great I am. The Alpha and Omega. The Lord of my life and the Lord of my heart.

I am available to preach anywhere, anytime, to anyone who believes in salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ and a triune God. paulg@lcc.net

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Copyright by Rev. Paul G. McLain, Jr.
Last revised: July 08, 1999.